I’m pretty ready to finish university. Fucks up your sleeping, fucks up your feelings. I think I have an ulcer. Popping pepacids like they nuffin’. Have to hand this in pretty soon, plus I got a big, big paper due soon. I also have an oral exam, and a reflection paper, and a fucking final. I only took three courses this semester. But I’m really lucky aren’t I? I am one of the fortunate few that get to do this shit. People would kill me for what I have right now. I’m on the way, I’ve got structure, I just have to study, to learn, to…
That’s the weird part of university innit? Feels like shit, smells like shit, but its not shit is it? Everything depends on it, or maybe not. I just wanna be done with it already. But deep down I’m pretty sure that I know I’m lucky and I’d be hard pressed to find anything easier to do than write some words on a computer for a deadline. Lectures are often interesting, professors often inspiring, book are kinda cool. I think it comes down to that deadline and all it represents. “At this hour you will be judged but not cared about.”
(TA voice): “I will read your work but I promise not to care about it. I promise to follow my rubric and not entertain deviations. I promise to closely analyse footnotes and hyphens but not content.”
This is always the worst part of the year anyways. Feels like limbo, outside looks like Chernobyl or some shit. Library feels like someone bet a sardine can it couldn’t fit thaaat many people. The can was like “don’t believe me just watch”.
Enter Graphite. University is awesome sometimes. University is sometimes not awesome. Education is cool and enriching. Education feels vacuous and illusory. Do I need an education? Do I want an education? Well, I am being educated and then what? Get a job for the government? Do a masters? Yay, more school! There’s other choices out there but increasingly, there seems to be one underlying one. Go to university. You can’t escape it really, unless carpentry or plumbing is your thing. Fit in the structure, fit in the economy.
Are we learning to learn or are we learning to be useful? Thinking or Producing?
Cow being milked? Or Socrates in the snow?
Goodnight and goodluck,
Kasimir X
